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by Ethan Stevens
With all apologies to Gene Wolfe, author of "The Boy Who Hooked the Sun"
One night, Six and Kine, seeing the moon was swift of foot, slow though it was in its stroll across the sky, decided to hunt it. So each set their body for a horse and their spirit for a rider and gave their souls to Destruction as security for the loan of his five hounds, and began to course the moon. They gave the hounds a space suit to get the scent, and the hounds went running on the track. The moon heard them and went coursing through the forests of the sky, the hunt riding and the hounds baying for moonlit blood.
The hounds coursed, and the moon ran, weaving and dancing across the sky, dodging above and below and about the edges of the great square of the world. Then the dictator of the world’s greatest empire got in a rocket ship and came alongside Six and Kine as they rode and called out to them “The waves of the riptides sink my ships and my submarines are afraid to surface. The tidal waves lash my beaches and my tidal power plants are in ruins. Cease to course the moon and I will make you general of my army and mistress of my secret police.” But Six and Kine laughed, and turned on him the hound Destruction By The Hands Of Men. And his rocket was torn to pieces by its crew and his palace pried brick from brick by its people.
And still the hounds coursed, but the moon ran fresh and strong. Then the richest man in the world, whose power reached across all empires, bought the space station and sent it hurtling from its orbit and along Six and Kine’s path and called out to them “The ignorant are crying that the world is at an end, the great achievement man has wrought by walking on the moon seems but little and we are stripped of our pride. All future is cast into doubt when the heavens themselves are coursed, and you are worshiped as the bringers of the end. Cease your hunt or all civilization will perish.” But Six and Kine laughed, and turned on him the hound Destruction By Rust And Rot. And the metal of the space station oxidized without air and its fuel went stale in an instant and its plastic crumbled to dust and he fell back to earth in an escape pod he had packed with blankets, beef jerky and antibiotics.
And still the hounds coursed, but now the moon ran hard and steady with no dance in its step or scornful toss of its head. Then the god of the sun came alongside them in his chariot of flame and called out to them “If the moon is killed I shall be left alone with my uncaring uncles, the stars, and men will curse me, saying my light is harsh and burning, and lament the moon when they have forgotten its fickleness. And when the time comes for our eclipse, I will have nothing to hide me while I die and am reborn, so I will die and the world will die with me.” But Six and Kine laughed, and turned on him the hound Destruction By Wind And Weather. And his fire was dimmed and his light hid, and he went away weeping, for he had not told them how he loved the moon, though he only ever neared it to die and be reborn.
And still the hounds coursed, but now the moon ran with foam upon its flanks and the hounds panted from their effort. Then the Aged One from deep beneath time came alongside them on wings like swarms of vermin and called out to them “This thing you do is great beyond all measure. No woman’s magic now stands still within her, but waxes and wanes each hour, the dances of the sky are broken, the sun is put to flight, I am loosed on a universe still filled with life, and my first prey shall be the moon, for you are not worthy to hunt it.” Then Six and Kine looked on him with annoyance, and turned on him the hound Destruction By Root And Leaf and his temples were torn apart, his stone circles broken, his pyramids thrown down, and all chance he had of refuge in any forgotten tomb or mortal shell destroyed. At this the Aged One laughed, and said he had no need of retreat. Then Six and Kine each spoke a spell and turned on him the hound Destruction By Fire, and he was consumed as if he had never been and his void filled with primal light and sealed with gates of radiance.
And still the hounds coursed, too tired now to bay, and the moon now stumbled in its flight, and the hound Destruction By Wild Beasts was only a length behind. Then there came up beside them a werewolf maid, riding her body for a horse and her spirit for a rider and using her soul for wings to fly, and she called out to them “Come! Such prey is not worthy of you. Our people will take you to dig traps for the tiger who drinks at the river called Time, to fish for the serpent who encircles the ocean of whom each drop is a world, and to shoot angels from the sky above the the desert who’s grains are stars. Come! And you shall have shooting pieces of beaten lighting with bullets of more than gold, you shall have horses that outrun your thoughts and our people’s gods for hounds. Come! For our patron is no worthy prey of yours.”
So Six and Kine turned the hounds and scattered them till they lost the scent, then followed, horses foam flecked and hounds panting, to the lodge where the wolf maid showed them all she had promised and more. And the moon collapsed, exhausted, and did not rise to walk the skies again for a year and a day. But it is said by some that the moon learned much in its running, and that it has changed its nature so that, should any hunt it again, it will run till the hounds are weary then turn and slay with hoof and horn. And others say that Six and Kine hunted it not to kill it, but to catch it, and from it breed the stock of a new beast, more wondrous than any that has gone before. And still others say that they still have the stud in readiness, and only wait for Destruction to turn a kind eye on them once more. For his hounds were near ruined in that coursing.
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