Oasis

By Tori Rosenau

First Place Poetry Winner of the Makeshift Review's Writing Contest 2021

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Oasis

The sound of his breathing

Always keeps him up at night

But he’ll shut off his mind

And picture his life

the way he wants it to be

Escape to the oasis that he’s made

Inside his mind behind his eyes

It’s a lie but it’s alright

And maybe tonight he’ll be able to sleep

He’s spent his whole life

trying to escape what’s in his head

like a film on a screen

Only seeing things no one’s ever seen

He’ll go anywhere to get out of his own head

In a bottle

In a crowd

On a floor

In a dream

He tells himself he’s happy

This is where he wants to be

Just to cover up the hurt

And the people that will leave

Cause there’s an oasis that he’s made

Inside his mind behind his eyes

It’s a lie but it’s alright

And he’s dancing in the deep

Every day plays out

Like a movie like a dream

Just another memory to haunt him

As he chases after sleep:

The girl he left behind

The God he has denied

The people who tried to love him

But couldn’t get past his pride

He’ll lock eyes with his reflection

And tell himself that he’s okay

He doesn’t know how to love

So no one knows how to stay

Cause there’s an oasis that he’s made

Inside his mind behind his eyes

It’s a lie but it’s alright

And here he can’t be reached

And sometimes he forgets

what it is to feel

Sometimes he’ll cry

Just to assure himself he’s real

He’ll listen to himself breathe

To fool himself into thinking

He’s more than just a skeleton

Of the man he wants to be

Cause there’s an oasis that he’s made

Inside his mind behind his eyes

It’s a lie but it’s alright

And he can no longer see

The difference between what’s real

and what’s reality

Inside of his oasis

He’s the man he wants to be

It’s a lie but it’s alright

And now he’s drowning in the deep.